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Today

I feel so weak , can’t doing such as what I doing everyday ,
I lonely ,I miss all the kisses from them ,hug’s from my friend’s . Laugh with all crazier thing we do .
I really cannot survive with this time. This situation,I walked towards that I guess that's my life.
Though it is not certain. But I'm only human being. Which falls in love, which is trapped and shackled to the feeling where i want to fly with the situation.

But sometimes. I'm not able to get through it.
 Thought of it makes my lungs beats very fast and become sick. So sick but  I always pray to Him. Could I turned back my life to my old self wantid.

Who can laugh off the moment with my friend, who entertained my sister, who is able to break a silence when we're sad.
Entertain them. Laughed until our stomachs hurt.
Bold with all respects, Tough, Strong, and others I can not explained by words.
That was me. Myself. What I’m was., And it used to be.

But today not anymore.
I differ with them, they remain their. And I changed into my new self.
Are always afraid with all the actions that I made even though it's actually just a thing that does not need to be feared.
Weak,
Just smile and laugh when I really want it.

And I'm regret it .And I ask why only me who experienced this.Feel so ill and extremely sick than when I tried to slice my arm.

I do not want to acknowledge the fact that this is so hard .The pain almost kill me.
 But that's what happens now.
And that reality. I cannot run away from it this time.

I tried to toughen up and hold on to His hand. But I’m  who live in my life.

Today I can only mention a single word. "Time".
 Time show me how to keep my hand pray and It just makes me know and believe that He has the best reason for me. Even I know  it is not Today .


                                                                                                              Regina Priscilla
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